Support and Dependency

During your journey, there is a difference between support and dependency. Still, they are both valuable to you.

Support comes as physical, emotional, and mental. Your support group will help you through the process. Some will be there every day, while others come and go. Either way they are one of the main reasons you survive this ordeal.

Dependency may be necessary in the beginning. Do not worry that you are depending too much on others. Let everyone help you and meet your needs. So much is happening and you are incapable of functioning well. It is wise to let others help you manoeuvre through the process.

When my husband was dying, I was sleeping every night at the hospital and during a critical phase, I became disoriented. The shock of the diagnosis and lack of sleep made me into a zombie. I thought that I was doing well. However, my family became worried about me. At that stage, I listened to their advice and depended on them. They drove me to the hospital, organised my meals, and brought me home each day to rest for a few hours. They mothered me and I was totally dependent on them.

As I moved through the last weeks, the dependency continued. However, after his passing the dependence morphed into support. I became more able to function and did not need the same kind of care.

A mixture of dependency and support are necessary. When you need help, ask. There will be time later to become more self-reliant and repay their kindness.