Happy Activities and Home Comforts 

Make a list of things you love to do. After the passing, you will be all over the place. List old and new ideas. Post them on the fridge and use them to add happiness to your day. Include buying items on line, joining interest groups, gardening, reading, painting, baking, and various pursuits like writing and exercising.

It is a time to re-evaluate who you are and what you love.

When you are terribly unhappy, it is easy to spiral down. A session of yoga or a few minutes running on the trampoline alters your energy and at least for a short time you are in a happy place.

Be mindful that it is important that while you are enjoying yourself try not to focus on the past or future. Just be in the now. Being happy changes your body chemistry and increases endorphins. Even short bursts of happiness build change.

Finding happiness amidst the gloom and doom takes effort, but the benefits are worth it

Listen to your inner voice and allow your home to nurture you. Surrounded by familiar sounds and places there is no pressure. My home helped me to heal. I could be exactly how I felt without anyone else to consider. Nearly every time I ventured out, I met someone and had to face it again.

As long as you do not hide there indefinitely home is good. There were days I did no housework and stayed in bed watching Netflix. I soothed myself with comfort foods and it lessened the stress. If I did not wish to answer the phone or front door, I didn’t.

Sleep when you want. Spent time luxuriating in the bath. Eat whenever you want and sit in the garden

Sometimes being home is the cure. Although you are not moving on physically, you are moving through difficult emotions and releasing them in a safe environment.

During home days nurture yourself and do not do anything difficult. Time out at home recharges and rests a weary heart.

 

Work and Leisure 

When possible, keep aiming to work. Work stabilizes and takes your mind away from the ongoing loss. However, at the start it may not be an option. Unless you are functioning well consider time away.

I took off a few months during the worse part. Initially, I tried to go back, but the yo-yo effect of grief meant I never knew when I was operational. I gave myself this time to heal. As I improved, I added the type of work activity that I could manage without feeling pressured.

Healing is a slow process and unpredictable. The waves of emotions make life messy and uncertain. When I decided not to work it was frustrating because I loved to work and it gave me an escape from the constant pain. However, the downside was my inability to perform adequately.

Instead, I worked on other areas and rechannelled what energy I had there. I made lists of jobs and activities that were doable.

We function differently through grief situations and you have to be true to yourself. Make the best decision for you.

Focus on healing and see whether work helps or hinders it.

Leisure time is a dangerous place where your demons may surface. Perhaps, you spent leisure time with your lost love and now you are alone. Therefore, doing the same activity brings much sadness. I tried to do daily walks through my local park, but the memories and number of tears I shed while walking was not worth it. In time, I knew I would resume walking but not in the early stages.

However, some leisure pursuits work well and have no effect on you emotionally. Pursue these. Adding new ones is beneficial and allows expansion in your new world. When it is a group activity, you meet new people and arrive as a single person, instead of half of a couple.

Joining singles groups is an option. However, initially your broken heart may be unable to face fronting up alone. You may not be ready to tell others you are widowed. You are unsure how you will handle it.

Wait until you are ready. Let your emotions settle. Then venture out.