PTSD After Losing a Loved One

 You may have spent many hours, days, weeks and years tending to your loved one through the dying process. Sometimes, during the time, we are given hope of recovery, but other times, the terminal word is used. 

Going through the process is an ordeal and takes a toll on us. Of course, it is worse for the sick person, however don't underestimate the effect on you. 

Added to that, if the passing was terrible those dreadful memories come to haunt us. 

I believe many people develop PTSD during and afterwards. I suggest you look up the symptoms and see if it fits you. It is not always recognised as grief has similar outcomes. Get help if you feel that you are suffering from PTSD. . 

Going though the illness with them and watching them wither away in front of your eyes is awful. It is traumatic. Often we try to put on a brave face, but inside we are crumbling. 

Trauma is trauma whether you are in a war zone or watching your son dying in hospital. 

Get the help you need. 

Love, Wendy x

 

You are Strong

 Grief definitely weakness us and brings us to our knees, but underneath we are strong. The fact we are somehow coping with the illness they may  have had before their passing or the sudden passing means we are doing okay. 

The process of grief is brutal so be kind to yourself. It is one of the hardest journeys we take and there is little option but to survive. I have always thought it is harder to be left than to leave. We all have to die, but not everyone is left. 

The emotions and turmoil makes it difficult to endure, but we can do it. Later it gets easier and we find ways to cope. 

Just remember you are strong although the grief is crippling. Live and make your time on earth count. The grief can overwhelm you but life does go on and we are stronger for surviving it. 

Love, Wendy x 

Anniversaries

 The anniversaries are hard. In the first year, they are like a baptism of fire. So be kind to yourself. Do whatever makes you comfortable, and don't be pressured by others. 

This is your grief, your nightmare and others may mean well, but they don't have a clue. 

I tended to stay home and ride it through. Being out or in a public place was not my thing so I spent the day at home. It was easier. 

However, you may like company or the celebration. 

In the end, you are the one who was widowed or lost a family member or friend. Therefore, do what is a healing for you. 

Every year it seems to be less painful and in a way, you become more used to it. 

Love, Wendy x

Loneliness of Grief

 

Daily Reminders of Loss

 

Being a Mess During Grief

 

Third Year of Grief

 

It Gets Better

 If you are reading post, I am really sorry for your loss. It is a devastating path and one with up and downs. It does get better over time, but there are days and maybe weeks, we fall into the abyss. 

Not coping, crying endlessly, being unable to function, are all normal outcomes. You are not weak or going mad, it is the process of grief. 

As the weeks, months and years unfold the grief morphs and changes. Honestly, I believe it always sits in your heart, however, we find ways to deal with it. 

Let yourself have meltdowns and days you simply sit and look out the window. This is part of the healing and takes as long as it takes. 

The greater the love we shared, the deeper the pain and loss. 

The first 2 years are probably the worst I found. Then as the years went by, it was the stark realisation of the truth. I took it day by day. At the start, it was how to get to lunch time, then dinner, then bed. The pain was excruciating. 

Keep strong, you can get through this. 

Losing someone that you love is the worst pain of all. 

Be kind to yourself, and know the pain becomes easier to bear. 

Love, Wendy x

The Second Year of Loss

 

The First Year of Grief