Monday, 3 June 2019
Wednesday, 29 May 2019
One day at a time
Go slowly through your grief and do the "one day at a time" method. Every morning, I check in with myself and decide what I can handle. By doing this, I keep moving through the weeks and also take care of myself.
I am not who I used to be. You are not who you used to be. Loss changes us and breaks our heart. Once I came to this acceptance, life became easier. I stopped trying to return to my former self and just took the time I needed. Super women was gone and with that many other roles I did so effortlessly.
Honestly, I hardly knew who this new person was. Take heart because in a funny way we are morphing into another aspect of who we can be. Stronger and more compassionate. Able to survive against enormous emotional odds.
Loss taught me that even when the worse thing in life happens, I am still here almost intact...ha ha.
You will survive this and find happier days. Your heart may always miss and ache for your loved one but there is beauty and love around you.
Life is hard especially emotionally and loss is all about emotions. You are healing your heart so give it time and space. Day by day.
Remember, your heart is in rehab. Be gentle with yourself.
Love, Wendy x
I am not who I used to be. You are not who you used to be. Loss changes us and breaks our heart. Once I came to this acceptance, life became easier. I stopped trying to return to my former self and just took the time I needed. Super women was gone and with that many other roles I did so effortlessly.
Honestly, I hardly knew who this new person was. Take heart because in a funny way we are morphing into another aspect of who we can be. Stronger and more compassionate. Able to survive against enormous emotional odds.
Loss taught me that even when the worse thing in life happens, I am still here almost intact...ha ha.
You will survive this and find happier days. Your heart may always miss and ache for your loved one but there is beauty and love around you.
Life is hard especially emotionally and loss is all about emotions. You are healing your heart so give it time and space. Day by day.
Remember, your heart is in rehab. Be gentle with yourself.
Love, Wendy x
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Sunday, 26 May 2019
Meltdowns
It is normal to have constant meltdowns everywhere. These
episodes are spasmodic and you may have big and small meltdowns. The grief simply spills into everything. When
you are a private person coming to terms and acceptance of this occurrence
takes time.
Love, Wendy x
I broke down at coffee shops, in banks, and at the slightest
provocation. The floods opened and the tears flowed unrelentingly.
The greater the loss, the more meltdowns you suffer.
The best outcome is to know that it is unavoidable and not a
sign of weakness. Be kind to yourself. I expected the meltdowns to be easier
after a few months, only to find them getting worse. I hoped before I set off for the party or
shopping trip those previous hours of tears would “dry” me up.
However, it was
not something I relied on. It is surprising with the amount of heartache around that
there are not more people crying in public places.
Time is a great healer and although meltdowns are annoying
they are great because they release all your pent-up emotions. You find in time
the episodes lessen in intensity and there are bigger gaps between your
meltdowns.
Love, Wendy x
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Tuesday, 21 May 2019
Doing it your way
Unless you have experienced deep loss, you cannot really understand the wider implications. Many people suggest things but I urge you to follow your own feelings. Only you know how it feels...well kinda. Some days I could not even comprehend where I was in the whole process.
However, please by guided by your own instincts.....yes, they are still there. Follow your own pace and do what you can when you can.
Grief fluctuates and it is best to use a day by day approach.
You are not always getting better...some days you are getting worse, so rest and soothe yourself. Go back to work when you decide, begin socializing when you want and do not always listen to others.
Remember that they are not carrying the emotional load you are. Their well meaning suggestions come from a another space of normal life. The life we had before but now does not exist. What they suggest is doable from their perspective but seems insurmountable for us.
Go at your own pace. Forget about the 2 year it is all over idea. The loss process is slow and unpredictable.
Day by day. You know best what feels possible and what is another burden on a bad day.
Trust yourself and stop feeling weak or guilty for not being able to function as before.
Grief is crippling and therefore, allow your healing to take as long as needed. I just keep giving myself more time and have lessened the pressure on myself to get over it now.
We are all works in progress. Love yourself enough to allow the healing to take as long as you need.
Take care of yourself.
Love, Wendy x
However, please by guided by your own instincts.....yes, they are still there. Follow your own pace and do what you can when you can.
Grief fluctuates and it is best to use a day by day approach.
You are not always getting better...some days you are getting worse, so rest and soothe yourself. Go back to work when you decide, begin socializing when you want and do not always listen to others.
Remember that they are not carrying the emotional load you are. Their well meaning suggestions come from a another space of normal life. The life we had before but now does not exist. What they suggest is doable from their perspective but seems insurmountable for us.
Go at your own pace. Forget about the 2 year it is all over idea. The loss process is slow and unpredictable.
Day by day. You know best what feels possible and what is another burden on a bad day.
Trust yourself and stop feeling weak or guilty for not being able to function as before.
Grief is crippling and therefore, allow your healing to take as long as needed. I just keep giving myself more time and have lessened the pressure on myself to get over it now.
We are all works in progress. Love yourself enough to allow the healing to take as long as you need.
Take care of yourself.
Love, Wendy x
My other social media:
Wednesday, 15 May 2019
Are you experiencing distress?
Distress is a heightened feeling of extreme anxiety, sorrow and pain.
No one speaks about the distress you feel when a loved one dies.
I had weeks and months of this extreme emotion and initially, did not recognise I was experiencing distress. Because it went on for ages and stayed at a high level, I was consumed by it every day.
Perhaps you have been actually living in a distressed space without having a word for that emotion.
Distress is consuming and tiring.
I would wake up at all hours and have this awful feeling. I felt like it was overwhelming the day or night. Eventually, the episodes of being very distressed lessened but then it would come out of nowhere and upset me.
It does pass but you generally have to ride the storm.
Remember grief has many layers so be kind to yourself. Nurture yourself and use whatever works to soothe your soul.
Love, Wendy x
No one speaks about the distress you feel when a loved one dies.
Perhaps you have been actually living in a distressed space without having a word for that emotion.
Distress is consuming and tiring.
I would wake up at all hours and have this awful feeling. I felt like it was overwhelming the day or night. Eventually, the episodes of being very distressed lessened but then it would come out of nowhere and upset me.
It does pass but you generally have to ride the storm.
Remember grief has many layers so be kind to yourself. Nurture yourself and use whatever works to soothe your soul.
Love, Wendy x
My other social media:
Friday, 10 May 2019
Mother's Day
Mother's Day may be a happy and sad day for many. When our mum has passed, it is bitter sweet.
On this special day, you can send her a loving wish, light her a candle or wear something she left you. We mourn those who have been with us for a lifetime. Having shared so many years the bonds are strong and the memory bank is large.
Be grateful for the years she stayed with you.
Mums behind leave a special legacy and remain in our hearts until we meet again.
Enjoy the Mother's Day you are having.
Love, Wendy xxxxxxxx
On this special day, you can send her a loving wish, light her a candle or wear something she left you. We mourn those who have been with us for a lifetime. Having shared so many years the bonds are strong and the memory bank is large.
Be grateful for the years she stayed with you.
Mums behind leave a special legacy and remain in our hearts until we meet again.
Enjoy the Mother's Day you are having.
Love, Wendy xxxxxxxx
Tuesday, 7 May 2019
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