There is much to forgive. You have to forgive the situation,
yourself and often your partner. It is in forgiveness that you truly move on.
To forgive means you stop blaming or feeling anger towards the person
or situation. You let it go.
During grief there is a great amount of anger and blame. The
doctors may be blamed and you feel angry because your loved one is dying. Being
left behind makes you angry and how your life turned out does the same. You may
be angry at God, your situation, and from being widowed.
Once your anger dissipates forgiving becomes easier. I
worked for months to let go and be able to completely forgive. I forgave Ray
for dying, the situation I found myself in and most importantly, myself. It
took a great deal of work to come to a final sense of forgiveness. However, it
taught me that with forgiveness comes peace and healing.
Writing out your woes and anger shifts it. Recognizing how
angry I was and how much I was punishing myself took time. However, it was
pivotal in my healing to find forgiveness.
Then I told my family that they no longer had to be angry
for my situation because I had forgiven everything that had occurred.
When the
passing has been difficult and without resolution, anger and blame prevail. Not
everyone is a good patient or changed before they die. Many become even more
stubborn and refuse to make retribution. People do not change just because they
are facing their death. Often they become even more entrenched because they are
angry they are going.
Work at forgiveness because it releases you in a way that
nothing else does. Stop being angry, blaming, and punishing yourself and
others. Although it is a normal response you do not have to live like this
forever.
It takes much strength
and love to be forgiving.
Love, Wendy x
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