The usual funeral or not

Families decide what kind of funeral will happen. Often the person who died has input as well. After the passing, the funeral is the next major event. Do what you and your family want. Everyone comes from different background and family setups. It is your decision as a family, no one else’s.

Ray wanted a private family funeral with little fuss. I followed his wishes and received a lot of flak. It helped me see that funerals are not only for the one who passed. Some individuals could not cope with our family’s funeral. Stick to your guns. This is totally your decision. I was made to feel uncomfortable and strange because of his request. However, we honoured Ray’s wishes and keep our promise to him.

During these occasions having no funeral or doing it differently may not be well-received but stand your ground. What society dictates is not always encompassing. I felt these complaining individuals were being selfish and not actually respecting Ray’s wishes. They simply wanted to look good by turning up.

I am happy my family and I were strong enough to be funeral pioneers. 

In addition, the funeral arrangements for many are not easy. There may be fights and hidden agendas so be careful. Try to find a good outcome amidst the heightened emotions. Being flexible during this difficult time is important. Normally, you only have one type of funeral and getting everyone’s’ wishes granted may be challenging. 

The person who died would want it to be an amicable outcome.

In the end, the funeral supports those left behind more than the deceased. 

Be brave and have the funeral your family wishes and forget about pleasing anyone else. The passing of the person is felt the most by the family and close friends. All the acquaintances who come to the funeral are merely on the periphery of your life.