Couples and Singles

Couples press all our emotional buttons. Seeing couples everywhere brings up lots of emotions. You wish you were that couple and it reminds you of that time. You wish you had not lost your partner and the reality that time has gone with your loved one and it hurts. Perhaps it feels unfair that you missed out on those extra years. Although not all couples are happily in love, there are aspects of the couple relationship you no longer have access to. Of course, you may meet a new person, but the loss of our loved one remains in our heart.

Seeing couples is probably the hardest outing. The empty chair always reminds you of your loss and it is upsetting. Added to that, you are single now and travelling there alone and coming home is distressing. If it helps try to go to outings with others and return that way too.

Many couples are very supportive and embrace your single status. I noticed that when we were together everyone felt the loss of the person. My relationship with my friends also altered. Relating as one person changed the conversation and connection.

However, going out with couples may make you feel more alone instead of comforting you. Couples who relate as couples make this dynamic worse. Some couples respond as two single individuals and they are easier to be with.

Often, couples completely avoid you once you are single. The structure of your former friendship relied on four people, not three. When the strongest dynamic is with the person who has died, then the whole thing disintegrates. I had several couple relationships, but once my partner died, they ceased to relate to me. Do not take it personally because being single changes many old relationships.

Value the couples who take you into their hearts and take the time to support you. They may not know what you are going through, but their love and kindness is immeasurable.

Single friends have some understanding of the alone life. They can be a source of help and availability. I liked being with single people because there were many opportunities for social contact. Being alone without loss is different, but it does share similar lifestyle issues.

While you are hurting from loss connecting with both couples and singles gives support and stability in an unstable period of your life.