Fear, Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Grief may manifest as fear. It is a scary path to tread alone. I was scared of everything, especially in the beginning. The fear was strong and unrelenting. All of a sudden, I was alone and responsible for everything, as well as the way I was feeling. Fear like this is crippling.

Once you realize that the emotion you are experiencing is fear, then going through is easier. Grief stresses the body and mind and makes you scared. Most fear comes from the daily grind of moving through loss. There is fear attached to being single and not having your rock with you. Fear of being solely responsible for the decisions and the money concerns weighs heavily. Instead of having another close person, you are alone. When you have been in a close shared partnership the fear of being alone is palpable. The longer you have lived as a couple, the more entrenched are the dependency behaviours.

Take a breath and progress slowly. There is always help on hand and you are never truly going solo.

Often the death is a terrifying ordeal and leaves you reeling. Unlike the gentle and orchestrated passing showed on television, some last memories are disturbing. Fear manifests from these traumatic situations.

Be gentle with yourself because although no one talks about the fear, it is definitely a massive obstacle during the first few weeks and months. Initially, I did not understand that I was experiencing it. Grief has many emotions and I had not fully realized that my general uneasiness was simply fear.

You may have fear of living alone, being able to cope, losing your mind, and being able to figure out the chores surrounding the death. In the small hours, you may wake up scared and sick to the stomach. The fear is from the grief. However, once you accept your fears, you can put them to rest.

When I had a fearful time, I went back into survival mode. In the next few hours or days, I utilized my calming down techniques. As time passed the fear lessened, but when I was triggered, it came back in full force. Calming herbs, medication, deep breathing, and release work help. On the bad days, don’t attempt anything. Rest and do nurturing activities. Once the fear abates you can catch up with what needs to be done.

Never underestimate the effects of fear. It is crippling. However, know that you are capable of moving past it and coming into a calmer place.

Loss is a fearful and unknown territory and challenges your existence. Waking up with anxiety and nausea it usual. The feeling is horrible and may last for days. The anxiety and nausea may begin during the dying process and continue after the death. When you have these emotions, they usually connect into a worrying part of the death process. You know that you are being foolish and overreacting. However, these emotions are difficult to harness.

The worse times are when you are alone, pm and am. The lack of distraction and other people promote anxious thoughts and sickening feelings.

Grief is like being on a terrifying wave never knowing when or if you are going to crash. It rocks your soul to the core.

There are helpful drugs to alleviate these emotions and you can use them when it seems appropriate. Herbs, meditation, and Emotional Freedom Tapping may also lessen it. By managing these seemingly irrational emotions, you may feel calmer. Use what works for you.

You may experience your first panic attack while you are going through the grief journey. The feelings of loss make you fearful and anxious. Your entire world is crumbling before your eyes and everything is making you nervous.

Panic attacks start quickly and the trembling, sweating, nausea, pounding heart, feeling detached, shortness of breath, tingling sensations and dizziness are a few of the symptoms. They may last for a few seconds or hours. It is a surreal and scary experience.

When we are threatened, the body goes into fight or flight. These sensations are not under our control. However, once we understand what is happening, then we can find ways to cope.

Previously, I was unaware that loss triggers panic attacks. Although I knew about them and had dealt with them in my past, I was unprepared for them now. However, once I recognized how I was responding I could relate it to the grief. The smallest problem could set me off and some days it took ages to settle down. The higher my level of loss that day, the more vulnerable I became. Lack of sleep and constant worry and anxiety precipitated many attacks.

Breathing and slowing down helps. Taking time out from the trigger gives you time to rest and regroup. When I thought something might begin an attack, I walked away or refused to do the task. One of my sons asked me to collect a doctor’s letter concerning my husband’s death. While I was on the phone, without warning the nausea rose in my stomach and I felt physically sick. I said I would collect the letter and finished the phone call. Immediately afterwards, I realized that I was heading towards a panic attack. Straightaway, I rang back and told him I could not do it. Afterwards, I began to calm down. All the flashbacks of the passing continued for the next day, but by stopping myself from going back to the doctor’s rooms it stopped another panic attack.

It is not a sign of weakness to have panic attacks. Loss is the hardest and most gruelling life journey you can have. Take care of yourself and as soon as you see the signs step back and regroup. The world will cope without you and it is a self-nurturing action. Unless you have walked this sad and shaky path you cannot comprehend the way it changes the foundation of your life.