The Physical, Emotional, Mental and Soul Loss

 Every day I breathe into the pain of your absence.

The physical loss is the easiest to understand. The person is gone and your environment is changed forever. Your time together is finished. They will never walk in the door again or send you a text. You cannot talk to them or sit and have coffee and cake like before.

The physical loss is massive and unavoidable. It creates a vacuum your life and resounds in the house. Their chair is empty and you no longer hear their voice or laughter. Sometimes, when it was bad, I imagined my husband was lying next to me. It was ridiculous, but for a moment I was pretending he was around. Often, people play the voicemail message on the phone over and over to hear their voice or watch old family videos to have some connection.

In the early morning and at night are usually poignant times. The rush of the day has either not begun or finished, and without distraction their physical loss is more noticeable.

There are constant reminders of them in the form of objects or personal belongings. Your mind sees them sitting in their chair or washing dishes in the kitchen. The house has a hole in it physically.

Many people decide to move house, but it only removes so much. In your mind, you continue to remember the old times.

If you remain in the house the physical reminders are hard to avoid. Sometimes, you may gain comfort by physical mementoes, but on a messy day they may unravel you.

Never dismiss how challenging the physical loss is.

The emotional loss is massive. We have emotional connections to people that we care about. Therefore, the loss of this connection is terrible. The love you shared travelled from your heart to theirs. Now you have no way to channel that love. It may be sent to them spiritually, but it is not the same as being together here on earth.

Giving love was part of the relationship, and it is strange to have no way to express it. No hugs, no kisses, and no words. I recognized that the love I had was there inside my heart. However, although I sent him love, it was not the same. The connection felt like it went one way and I felt alone.

Not being loved affects you as well. After being loved and living in a state of love to be in this barren space is dreadful. You are alone and isolated emotionally. You may give love to everyone else, but there is a gap in your world. Your heart is bursting with all that love with nowhere to go.

When we are in any relationship there is the mental connection. After loss not being able to talk to each other is hard. Before your mental connection as a couple may have been almost telepathic and you both easily picked up on each other.

Usually, the sharing had brought you closer and now the mental loss is huge. Certain relationships have special parts when it comes to the mental part. It may be the interests you shared or similar values. The ability to talk about various aspects of your lives are missing. When you shared your deepest thoughts then the loss is big.

I chatted to my partner and shared many thoughts and worries. Just having another soul to be all of myself was liberating and healing. Once I lost this, my entire world changed. He was not there to ask for an opinion or make a major decision with. Of course, you had other people, but it was not the same.

The loneliness with loss is significant because there is no one to share ourselves with like we did. Even when at times we did not talk, there was mutual understanding and a nurturing connection.

In certain relationships, we may have been soulmates. A soulmate is usually a partner with whom who we feel a strong affinity and who loves and accepts us completely. It is a bond like no other. These relationships can be telepathic as we are so connected. There are shared emotions, values and interests and it sets a firm foundation for us. There seems to be no other person for us than them.

The love shared is deep and lasting, and soulmates usually surmount any problems that threaten the relationship. Losing a soulmate feels irreplaceable, and therefore, the soul loss is massive.

Instead of feeling like it is easy to move forward with another partner, we may feel like we can never find love and the same kind of relationship again.

Having been soulmates makes getting over the loss much harder.