The Void

There is a void after loss. An emptiness that no one or nothing fills. Living in the void is the price you pay for the loss of a loved one. I found that the void times were worse in the morning and evening. Somehow, I distracted myself better during the day.

I dreaded the void. Every day I knew I would face it and I never felt prepared. In the first few weeks, certain days were like an eternity. Going to bed early worked, but not always. In the middle of the night, the void was harder. There was nobody to talk to and nobody to hug. I ached during these never-ending nights.

In an attempt to fill the void, try to plan activities ahead and save your phone calls for the void days. A well-timed call, surfing the net, and social media are lifesavers.

On particular days when you are emotionally messy, the void is difficult to cope with. Your emotions are strong after loss and the demons get to you more easily. There are times when you fill the void with endless tears and that is normal. The void is unavoidable and in time, you learn to fill it with life. However, the loss of a loved one is never truly filled and with this understanding, it is easier to cope with.

Don’t be hard on yourself during the days or weeks when the void is present. You are struggling with many issues and your resources are low. Sometimes, you sail through the day and felt elated to be making progress, only to fall into the void again.

In the end, there will always be an empty space in your life where your loved one stood. Accept that when you have loved another, it is okay the space remains. However, life goes on and we owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to live as fully as we can.